


Goodbye

by WanderingSummerBreeze



Category: Outlander (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:56:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingSummerBreeze/pseuds/WanderingSummerBreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Season 3 and Sam isn't happy about Cait's upcoming scenes with Tobias and thinking of Cait with a child brings back some sad memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

Sam stroked the side of his chin, trying to not let anything show on his face. He was certain it wasn’t passing overlooked by those around him. He knew he had a glass face. Cast, crew, producers, everyone sat around the large table for the first read-thru for Season 3. He had spoken Jamie’s lines of war over Culloden and emptiness at Claire and his unborn child’s departure through the stones. But now it was on to Claire and Frank scenes. The scenes of re-connecting and closing the book on Jamie making way for Claire, Frank and not Frank’s daughter, he reminded himself, Brianna. Sam found himself getting agitated at the thought as he listened to Caitriona and Tobias speak their characters’ words.

He wasn’t Jamie, nor was Cait anymore Claire then Tobias – Frank, or Black Jack for that matter. But somehow it didn’t occur to him to give a shit. He sat in silence, keeping his hands underneath the table, clenching into fists, before coming up and turning the page once more. And there it was, right on the page before him. The scene he knew had been coming but had hoped against hope that the writers would not include. But they had and now he had to deal with it. Frank suckling at Claire’s breast. Caitriona’s breast.

The reading had been two weeks ago, now.

Cait stood in the doorway to their home and pulled the hem of Sam’s short so that his sulking lips came within a hair’s breadth of hers. “I know you aren’t happy but I promise, I’ll be thinking of you.”

Sam pulled away angry, turning from her, “I don’t want you thinking of me while he’s doing,” turning to face her again, he gestured up and down with his hand at her breast.

Cait walked up to him, placing a hand on his chest, “You know that when I get home, after I shower,” she was clear to point out, “I will expect you to lavish my body and remind me of whom I belong to.” He snorted slightly at that, but softened a bit, allowing her to pull him down for a kiss that started out chaste but quickly turned into him grasping her tightly to his body before she broke free. She rested her forehead against his chest and sighed, “What do you think I’m going to be feeling when you have your stupid scene with whatever trollip is hired as…. what’s her face.”

Sam laughed, stroking an errand hair behind her ear. He leaned into the side of her head, tickling her ear, “Trollip?”

“Actress. Whatever,” she pulled up to look at him under a forest of lashes, “I just hope it’s quick and you’re both fully clothed under sheets just motioning sex.”

“Well then,” nuzzling her neck, “you’ll have to show me afterward whom I belong to as well.”

“No. You’re going to damn well know before, during and afterward,” Cait pulled free of his embrace, “I’m going to make your body so exhausted that day, your penis will be like a hibernating bear that won’t poke its head out until Spring.”

“Ah, where it then will poke you?”

“Yep.” Cait silenced the phone, calling her to the car waiting for outside to take her to set. “I will be right there on set. Not watching. But on breaks, I’m taking you to the bathroom or your trailer to, well…” she thought as she walked toward him, reaching up on her tippy toes, her lips barely touching his, “take you.” He moaned soft and they kissed passionately before pulling free.

They had said their I love you’s and Cait had walked out the door with a final bye.

***

It was late afternoon when Sam stepped out of Terry’s domain after another fitting. Apparently he had been spending too much time at the gym, as his arms and shoulders had increased in size once again. Inwardly, he was proud of himself and his achievement. After all, he had worked hard for it. But he did spend more time in fittings then desired.

Sam had gone to collect a few things from his trailer before heading back home but had caught a glimpse of Cait and Tobias laughing as they entered the SUV taking them to set. Jealously consumed him suddenly as he desperately tried to push it aside. He knew Cait loved him. And they both loved Tobias. But he recalled back to season one when Cait and Tobias had been filming the 1940’s scenes and how happy they seemed. “They’re just friends. I know that. Just friends,” but even while he repeated the mantra to himself, Sam still didn’t like the idea of Tobias’s hands roaming across Cait’s body, feeling the illusioned extra weight of milk insider her breasts.

That seemed to be the breaking point for him. It unexpectedly brought forth closeted memories that sat high on a shelf out of arms reach until now. It had been violently pulled to the floor, with all its contents strewn out for all to see. Sam and Cait had in fact gotten pregnant during Season Two. But sadly had lost the child very early on. They had only known a week before the miscarriage. Both had been devastated, but taken comfort in each other and the hope for the future and then never spoken of it again.

Unfortunately, their own misfortune had occurred only shortly before Jamie and Claire’s. He had been adamant to be on set the day that happened. The day his poor beautiful wife had to break down for Claire’s loss. But Caitriona’s was in there as well, and he knew it. He had taken her home, not allowing anyone to talk or touch her along the way, building a fortress around her with his body. He had held her tightly as quiet sobs wreaked her body, but had said nothing beyond soothing words.

But for that brief week of knowing she was with child. His child. He had never been happier in his life. He had actually imagined watching her breasts grow full as their child grew inside her and the idea of suckling one milk-filled breast while he tenderly kneaded the other was more than enough to make him hard.

But now here he was, watching that scene about to be played out and the green monster wouldn’t let him be. Sam headed toward the building that housed the Randall family home. He stopped in front of the door, placing one hand on the handle, before taking a deep breath and entering. The light outside wasn’t red, so he snuck in behind one of the camera operators. It was a closed set to everyone else, but not to him. They were just getting into position before Action! was called.

Sam kept to the shadows as he watched the scene in front of him. Claire was talking about her aching breasts to Frank, but with every word she spoke with an English accent, it seems to translate to an Irish one once it hit his ears. He watched as Frank offered his help, then leaned in to start suckling her. Claire careened back with her hand resting on his head. Sam felt his insides ignite in furry just as Cut! was called. Lunch was called shortly after and Sam skulked out of the building.

***

Suddenly feeling cold, Cait wrapped the coat tightly around herself as she headed toward her trailer. The scene had been nice and Tobias was always a gentleman, but it had brought back memories she hadn’t wanted to raise from the dead. She and Sam had expressed desires and done things she would never have thought to do with any living soul. Things that made you feel like you were the only one to ever conjure up such depravities, yet you found that your partner shared your desires, if only because they wanted to be as much a part of you as you of them. But they had also talked about the most intimate things. Just before she had started the last scene, she remembered Sam saying how much he had wanted to taste the milk as it flowed from her breast in the brief time she was pregnant. Something she desperately wanted as well.

Shaking her head in a vain attempt to shake free the thoughts in her head, she walked up her trailer steps and opened the door. Cait threw herself on the sofa, her arms crossing over her eyes in exhaustion.

“What was it like?” he spoke so evenly, almost coldly, to her as she jumped at his voice.

“Sam!” she laughed, embarrassed. “What are you doing here?”

“Terry,” he said simply as she nodded her head in understanding. He was sitting in the chair across from her, surprised she hadn’t noticed him, tapping his fingers absently on the arms. Waiting a beat before asking again, “So, how was it? How did his mouth feel on you?”

Caitriona sunk into the couch further, putting her arm across her eyes again, “Sam. We’re actors. You know this. You’ve admitted to me that you’ve dated people you’ve worked with before and they had intimate scenes with others.”

“That was different.”

She removed her arm and glanced at him with curiosity, “How?”

“None of them were my wife. None of them were you,” Cait sat up, looking across from him, waiting for him to continue, “None of them I wanted to share a child with.”

His voice broke with the final words he spoke. The anger was still there on his face but it was giving way to hurt as well. Cait slipped from the couch and crawled before him resting her head on his leg. “I don’t,” she looked up at him, “and never will, share a child with anyone but you. The one we lost and the one that will come next. And I know that he or she will come. I know it in my heart, Sam.” She lifted herself to face him, still on her knees, took hold of his bent head, “And when we do have a child together, it will be your head that I cradle to my breast in the night. Your tongue that will circle around it softly. Your mouth that will take the nipple into its heat and my milk that will flood it. “

Sam gazed into her eyes, “I cannot wait until tonight to have you. I need you now,” he traced his finger along her cheek to her jaw, “I need to possess you and comfort myself in you – my wife. The mother of my children.”

“My body is yours.”

Sam leaned tenderly toward her to capture her lips in his. Slowly they stood together, not once breaking their connection. He pushed the coat that still clung to her body to the floor with a soft whoosh. As the Scottish wind whirled outside, blowing the newly fallen rain into the windows, Sam picked Cait up, her legs wrapping around his body in fierce possession. He walked them both to the bed in the back, laying her softly upon it. The world outside the trailer was alive with controlled chaos, but inside was just the two of them.

Sam shrugged his jacket off and pulled his shirt over his head. Both garments discarded to the floor as he began to undo his trousers. Their eyes stayed locked on one another as they pulled themselves free from their fabric restraints. Equally naked, Sam knelt down, pulling Cait toward the end of the bed. Spreading her legs, she watched as he settled himself between them, his face staring at her mound. He placed both palms to her centre and using his thumbs, opened her up to him. Cait watched him gingerly lower his mouth and begin to trace his tongue around the lips, not quite delving inside yet. Just licking the edge and bringing himself up to taste her tight nub briefly. He moaned softly into her core, then dipped his tongue inside her as far as he could.

Unable to stay focused any longer, Cait dropped her head to the bed and let him explore her body with his tongue as if he had never done so before. Every move he made, every slight tickle of his breath and swirl of tongue built pressure inside her. It was all done with such care, as if he was repairing her body along with his own, slowly lapping at the wound to seal it. She tangled her fingers through his wavy mane, urging him inside her as far as possible.

Sam pulled himself from her depths and nuzzled himself against her thigh, “You are so beautiful. Every part of you,” he lifted himself up, blanketing her body with his own, “sometimes I feel as if I want nothing more than to crawl inside you and become a part of you.”

To anyone else it may have seemed the most ridiculous insane idea, but to Cait, she felt the same and wished nothing more herself as she pulled his lips to hers. Their lips spoke a language only the two of them knew. Some ancient, forgotten language of true lovers. Not people being with each other for company, circumstance or settlement, but because their bodies ached deep inside their souls for one another. 

Not yet joined, their hands roamed everywhere, clutching, grabbing, forsaking all else as they gave in to the heartache and love. The pain and pleasure. Cait reached between them for his manhood, slick with his juices, and made to maneuver them so that she was on top. She wanted him in her mouth but he stilled her hand and with a sigh, uttered “No” and took her arm so that it rested on his back and sunk himself deep insider her heat.

Their eyes close in an instant at their joining. Sam rubbed his stubble over her face lightly and in a hushed whisper he apologized. He apologized for not being there when she had first felt the pain on the child leaving her. Cried to her that he couldn’t stop it from happening and despite her protests that nothing could have been done, he would always blame some part of himself. Neither moved through his confession. Neither wanted to. 

The tears welled in Sam’s eyes, dropping with a thunderous silence on her face. Cait begged him to move in her then. Begged to be forgiven for what she felt had been her fault. It never occurred to either them that while they would say things like, these things happen to each other, they could never say it to themselves.

Sam moved within her, slowly at first then finally with a visceral force that Cait couldn’t hold back her cries. He pumped and slid in and out with a primal force that begged for release of every emotion that boiled inside him and into her. Cait lowered her hands to his ass, pushing him deeper inside her to near point of pain. Both plead for the pain they had buried so deep for so long to finally break free of their bodies and set them free.

Heavy breathing and shallow thrusts finally gave way to a fiery climax. Shrieks of pleasure gave way to muffled cries of anguish as their bodies finally cleansed themselves of everything they had been through until finally nothing was left but the sound of their breathing, united in their matching union.

Sam lay atop Cait for a few silent minutes before finally reaching between her buttocks and the mattress, slowly rubbing her as he parted their bodies. He lay next to her, curling under her arm, next to her breast and carefully lay a palm on her belly, feeling its flatness and softly whispered, Goodbye.


End file.
